Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
