just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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