we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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