ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
