im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I fill condoms, not promises.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
