Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
