I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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