The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize