I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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