I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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