I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Randomize
