Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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