feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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