Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
