so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
