Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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