laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
