coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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