Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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