So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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