And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
two words: eviction party
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
