Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just made my gag reflex go away.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
