I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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