Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
