I need help removing her.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
