it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
