is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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