Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
