its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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