i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
