As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize