Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
