I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize