how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
