she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
