im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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