Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
