How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
