Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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