I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
