I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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