And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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