Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
