whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
