I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
