You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
