I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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