he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She's the barista slut.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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