I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
