so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
