I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
