She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
