some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
