ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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