I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
