I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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