32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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