College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
