HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
