Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
