her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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