I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize