Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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