I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
