every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
