just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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