I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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