It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
