I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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