that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
