the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
