sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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