I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
