Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize