Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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